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Third Sunday of Ordinary Time - Sunday January 22, 2023

Dear friends,

Hello everyone! While Fr. John is away in India, I’ll be filling in for the usual weekly bulletin column. 

One of the frequent joys/duties/responsibilities within the life of a parish priest is presiding over funerals. As a result, I have been to a lot of funerals.  I and the funeral ministry team often hear the same questions and requests for clarification from the families that we help prepare for a funeral.  As a result, I want to provide a small discussion about funerals, because it’s better to think about these things now rather than later.  Yes, it may seem morbid to think about death and preparations for death, but that’s not the view of the Church.  Rather, a well-prepared funeral liturgy is the Church’s final gift for the deceased member, their family, and friends.

It is important to know that the planning process can never start too early.  We are willing to talk through, and hold on file at the parish office, the reading and hymn selections for your funeral.  If you want to see options for readings, then this link https://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/sacraments-and-sacramentals/bereavement-and-funerals#tab--for-adults will bring you to the reading selections.

The funeral liturgy is a progression.  It starts with the wake or vigil for the deceased.  After the wake, there is the funeral Mass.  Then right after the funeral Mass is the committal and burial.  All of these actions together comprise the funeral liturgy.  It is more than just the Mass.  It is all three parts.  The reason for those three parts—the wake, Mass, and committal/burial—is that the Church in her wisdom and experience knows that we humans need each of these moments of progression.  There is a journey towards the burial, towards hopeful closure.  What is present throughout the funeral liturgy is hope in the resurrection.  This hope springs from Jesus’ resurrection, and it is foundational to our funeral liturgy.

Normally, the Church assumes that the body is present for all three parts.  Cremation, though, is an option.  People have asked me a number of questions about cremations, and cremations are becoming more popular.  Here are the answers to the most common questions.

In 1963, the Vatican changed the policy banning cremations.  Cremation is permitted as long as it is not chosen for reasons against Christian teaching.  Some common and proper reasons for choosing cremation are sanitary, economic, or social considerations.  Also, the Church makes it very clear how properly to treat the ashes (cremains).  The cremains need to be laid to rest in a sacred place, such as a cemetery or a mausoleum.  This means, among other things, not having the ashes resting at home.  In addition, the Church expects that the same respect is given to the ashes as to intact bodies.  Some of the ways that it is lived out is by keeping the ashes all together.  Dividing the ashes or turning them into jewelry or other items does not meet this requirement of respect.  In addition, the Church is very clear that ashes are NOT to be spread.  The spreading of ashes is actually a sign of great disrespect.  I cannot emphasize this enough: spreading someone’s ashes is a sign of great disrespect.  In Roman times, the Roman empire would burn the bodies of the martyrs and then spread their ashes so that no one could venerate the martyrs.

One final clarification I want to make is the difference between a memorial Mass and a funeral Mass.  The funeral Mass is for when the person’s mortal remains are present.  A memorial Mass happens without remains.  In general, memorial Masses only happen after a funeral Mass has already been celebrated.

These are just a few points about funerals to give us all some food for thought about the arrangements to be made when it comes time for us to prepare for what is to come.  I hope I have also conveyed the essential presence of hope in the Church’s manner of preparing for and holding a funeral: our hope for eternal life with God in heaven.

Of course, I am always happy to answer any questions or requests for clarification.  There is a lot involved in preparing for a funeral—I couldn’t cover everything here.  But I hope this has addressed a few of the questions you may have had—and a few you didn’t know you had yet!

In Holy Cross,

Fr. Vincent